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点击下方??? 日干是戊土或己土，又出生在农历三月、四月、五月、六月、九月的人，或是出生在早上十一点后至下午三点，日干也是戊土或己土的人，在年财星坐库财运一定旺。
八字中用神或者喜神为水的人运气好
这类八字特征的人在冬季里五行水最旺。如果一个人的八字用神或者是喜神为水的人，年尤其在冬季会迎来好运气。
八字日元是丁火旺的人财运好
日元如果是丁火，八字原本火旺，火克金为财，如果大运走的是庚金，申金，辛金，酉金等财运，在年辛丑年，辛金又是偏财，偏财是大财，丑是食神生财。流年与大运一起加大财的力量，自然是财源滚滚了。
生辰八字测算一生命运八字属木的人贵人运好
八字属木的人在年将会得到贵人的很多帮助，生活得到的便利也变多了。这类人在这一年里主动向贵人学习是有好处的，一些潜力能够被贵人所发掘，自己的发展空间变大了。贵人到来之后会让生活发生天翻地覆的改变。
食神制杀的人事业运好
日干为甲木，年月干为强旺之七杀庚金，而时干正好为食神丙火，且食神丙火之力量正好与七杀庚金抗衡，在八字命理中此谓之食神制杀。食神者，主聪明智慧也，故，食神制杀命格的人，善于运用自己的聪明才智，处理各种各样尖锐、复杂的问题，变不利为有利，是个将来能干大事的明哥，注定能成就一番事业。
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点击下方??? Veryspecialthanksalsotomyagent,JenniferRudolphWalsh,forher Icanneveradequatelythankmyhusband,JohnTaylor,whopersuadedmeitwastimetotellmystoryandthenpulleditoutofme.
Darkisawayandlightisaplace,HeaventhatneverwasNorwillbeeverisalwaystrueDylanThomas,"PoemonHisBirthday"
Chapter1
IWASSITTINGINataxi,wonderingifIhadoverdressedfortheevening,whenIlookedoutthewindowandsawMomrootingthroughaDumpster.Itwasjustafterdark.AblusteryMarchwindwhippedthesteam Momstoodfifteenfeetaway.Shehadtiedragsaroundhershoulderstokeepoutthespringchillandwaspickingthroughthetrashwhileherdog,ablack-and-whiteterriermix,playedatherfeet.Momsgestureswereallfamiliar梩hewayshetiltedherheadandthrustoutherlowerlipwhenstudyingitemsofpotentialvaluethatshedhoistedoutoftheDumpster,thewayhereyeswidenedwithchildishgleewhenshefoundsomethingsheliked.Herlonghairwasstreakedwithgray,tangledandmatted,andhereyeshadsunkdeepintotheirsockets,butstillsheremindedmeofthemomshedbeenwhenIwasakid,swan-divingoffcliffsandpaintinginthedesertandreadingShakespearealoud.Hercheekboneswerestillhighandstrong,buttheskinwasparchedandruddyfromallthosewintersandsummersexposedtotheelements.Tothepeoplewalkingby,sheprobablylookedlikeanyofthethousandsofhomelesspeopleinNewYorkCity.
IthadbeenmonthssinceIlaideyesonMom,andwhenshelookedup,Iwasover IsliddownintheseatandaskedthedrivertoturnaroundandtakemehometoParkAvenue.
Thetaxipulledupinfrontofmybuilding,thedoormanheldthedoorforme,andtheelevatormantookmeuptomyfloor.Myhusbandwasworkinglate,ashedidmostnights,andtheapartmentwassilentexceptfortheclickofmyheelsonthepolishedwoodfloor.IwasstillrattledfromseeingMom,theunexpectednessof Ilookedaroundtheroom.Thereweretheturn-of-the-centurybronze-and-silvervasesandtheoldbookswithwornleatherspinesthatIdcollectedatfleamarkets.ThereweretheGeorgianmapsIdhadframed,thePersianrugs,andtheove
ister,Lori,for Veryspecialthanksalsotomyagent,JenniferRudolphWalsh,forher MygratitudefortheirearlyandconstantsupportgoestoJayandBetsyTaylor,LauriePeck,CynthiaandDavidYoung,AmyandJimScully,AshleyPearson,DanMathews,SusanWatson,andJessicaTaylorandAlexGuerrios.
Icanneveradequatelythankmyhusband,JohnTaylor,whopersuadedmeitwastimetotellmystoryandthenpulleditoutofme.
Darkisawayandlightisaplace,HeaventhatneverwasNorwillbeeverisalwaystrueDylanThomas,"PoemonHisBirthday"
Chapter1
IWASSITTINGINataxi,wonderingifIhadoverdressedfortheevening,whenIlookedoutthewindowandsawMomrootingthroughaDumpster.Itwasjustafterdark.AblusteryMarchwindwhippedthesteam Momstoodfifteenfeetaway.Shehadtiedragsaroundhershoulderstokeepoutthespringchillandwaspickingthroughthetrashwhileherdog,ab
thesamequestionandreceivedthesamereply.
"InthethirdchamberlaySally,andwetrembledastheoldladywentin.Sittingup,wepeepedandlistenedbreathlessly.
"Sarah,I IthadbeenmonthssinceIlaideyesonMom,andwhenshelookedup,Iwasover IsliddownintheseatandaskedthedrivertoturnaroundandtakemehometoParkAvenue.
Thetaxipulledupinfrontofmybuilding,thedoormanheldthedoorforme,andtheelevatormantookmeuptomyfloor.Myhusbandwasworkinglate,ashedidmostnights,andtheapartmentwassilentexceptfortheclickofmyheelsonthepolishedwoodfloor.IwasstillrattledfromseeingMom,theunexpectednessof Ilookedaroundtheroom.Thereweretheturn-of-the-centurybronze-and-silvervasesandtheoldbookswithwornleatherspinesthatIdcollectedatfleamarkets.ThereweretheGeorgianmapsIdhadframed,thePersianrugs,andtheoverstuffedleatherarmchairIlikedtosinkintoattheendoftheday.Idtriedtomakeahomeformyselfhere,triedtoturntheapartmentintothesortofplacewherethepersonIwantedtobewouldlive.ButIcouldneverenjoytheroomwithoutworryingaboutMomandDadhuddledonasidewalkgratesomewhere.Ifrettedaboutthem,butIwasembarrassedbythem,too,andashamedofmyselfforwearingpearlsandlivingonParkAvenuewhilemyparentswerebusykeepingwarmandfindingsomethingtoeat.
WhatcouldIdo?Idtriedtohelpthemcountlesstimes,butDadwouldinsisttheydidntneedanything,andMomwouldaskforsomethingsilly,likeaperfumeatomizeroramembershipinahealthclub.Theysaidthattheywerelivingthewaytheywantedto.
AfterduckingdowninthetaxisoMomwouldntseeme,Ihatedmyself梙atedmyantiques,myclothes,andmyapartment.Ihadtodosomething,soIcalledafriendofMomsandleftamessage.Itwasoursystemofstayingintouch.ItalwaystookMomafewdaystogetbacktome,butwhenIheardfromher,shesounded,asalways,cheerfulandcasual,asthoughwedhadlunchthedaybefore.ItoldherIwantedtoseeherandsuggestedshedropbytheapartment,butshewantedtogotoarestaurant.Shelovedeatingout,soweagreedtomeetforlunchatherfavoriteChineserestaurant.
Momwassittingatabooth,studyingthemenu,whenIarrived.Shedmadeanefforttofixherselfup.Sheworeabulkygraysweaterwithonlyafewlightstains,andblackleathermensshoes.Shedwashedherface,butherneckandtempleswerestilldarkwithgrime.
Shewavedenthusiasticallywhenshesawme."Itsmybabygirl!"shecalledout.Ikissedhercheek.Momhaddumpedalltheplasticpacketsofsoysauceandducksauceandhot-and-spicymustardfromthetableintoherpurse.Nowsheemptiedawoodenbowlofdriednoodlesintoitaswell."Alittlesnackforlateron,"sheexplained.
Weordered.MomchosetheSeafoodDelight."YouknowhowIlovemyseafood,"shesaid.
ShestartedtalkingaboutPicasso.Shedseenaretrospectiveofhisworkanddecidedhewashugelyoverrated.Allthecubiststuffwasgimmicky,asfarasshewasconcerned.HehadntreallydoneanythingworthwhileafterhisRosePeriod.
"Imworriedaboutyou,"Isaid."TellmewhatIcandotohelp."Hersmilefaded."WhatmakesyouthinkIneedyourhelp?""Imnotrich,"Isaid."ButIhavesomemoney.Tellmewhatitisyouneed."Shethoughtforamoment."Icoulduseanelectrolysistreatment.""Beserious.""Iamserious.Ifawomanlooksgood,shefeelsgood.""Comeon,Mom."Ifeltmyshoulderstighteningup,thewaytheyinvariablydidduringtheseconversations."Imtalkingaboutsomethingthatcouldhelpyouchangeyourlife,makeitbetter.""Youwanttohelpmechangemylife?"Momasked."Imfine.Youretheonewhoneedshelp.Yourvaluesareallconfused.""Mom,IsawyoupickingthroughtrashintheEastVillageafewdaysago.""Well,peopleinthiscountryaretoowasteful.Itsmywayofrecycling."ShetookabiteofherSeafoodDelight."Whydidntyousayhello?""Iwastooashamed,Mom.Ihid."Mompointedherchopsticksatme."Yousee?"shesaid."Rightthere.ThatsexactlywhatImsaying.Yourewaytooeasilyembarrassed.YourfatherandIarewhoweare.Acceptit.""AndwhatamIsupposedtotellpeopleaboutmyparents?""Justtellthetruth,"Momsaid."Thatssimpleenough."
Chapter2
Itsmyearliestmemory.Iwasthreeyearsold,andwewerelivinginatrailerparkinasouthernArizonatownwhosenameIneverknew.Iwasstandingonachairinfrontofthestove,wearingapinkdressmygrandmotherhadboughtforme.Pinkwasmyfavoritecolor.Thedresssskirtstuckoutlikeatutu,andIlikedtospinaroundinfrontofthemirror,thinkingIlookedlikeaballerina.Butatthatmoment,Iwaswearingthedresstocookhotdogs,watchingthemswellandbobintheboilingwaterasthelate-morningsunlightfilteredinthroughthetrailerssmallkitchenettewindow.
IcouldhearMominthenextroomsingingwhilesheworkedononeofherpaintings.Juju,ourblackmutt,waswatchingme.Istabbedoneofthehotdogswithaforkandbentoverandofferedittohim.Thewienerwashot,soJujulickedatittentatively,butwhenIstoodupandstartedstirringthehotdogsagain,Ifeltablazeofheatonmyrightside.Iturnedtoseewhereitwas Iscreamed.Ismelledtheburningandheardahorriblecracklingasthefiresingedmyhairandeyelashes.Jujuwasbarking.Iscreamedagain.
Momranintotheroom.
"Mommy,helpme!"Ishrieked.Iwasstillstandingonthechair,swattingatthefirewiththeforkIhadbeenusingtostirthehotdogs.
Momranoutoftheroomandcamebackwithoneofthearmy-surplusblanketsIhatedbecausethewoolwassoscratchy.Shethrewtheblanketaroundmetosmothertheflames.Dadhadgoneoffinthecar,soMomgrabbedmeandmyyoungerbrother,Brian,andhurriedovertothetrailernexttoours.Thewomanwholivedtherewashangingherlaundryontheclothesline.Shehadclothespinsinhermouth.Mom,inanunnaturallycalmvoice,explainedwhathadhappenedandaskedifwecouldpleasehavearidetothehospital.Thewomandroppedherclothespinsandlaundryrightthereinthedirtand,withoutsayinganything,ranforhercar.
***Whenwegottothehospital,nursesputmeonastretcher.Theytalkedinloud,worriedwhisperswhiletheycutoffwhatwasleftofmyfancypinkdresswithapairofshinyscissors.Thentheypickedmeup,laidmeflatonabigmetalbedpiledwithicecubes,andspreadsomeoftheiceovermybody.Adoctorwithsilverhairandblack-rimmedglassesledmymotheroutoftheroom.Astheyleft,Iheardhimtellingherthatitwasveryserious.Thenursesremainedbehind,hoveringoverme.IcouldtellIwascausingabigfuss,andIstayedquiet.OneofthemsqueezedmyhandandtoldmeIwasgoingtobeokay.
"Iknow,"Isaid,"butifImnot,thatsokay,too."Thenursesqueezedmyhandagainandbitherlowerlip.
Theroomwassmallandwhite,withbrightlightsandmetalcabinets.Istaredforawhileattherowsoftinydotsintheceilingpanels.Icecubescoveredmystomachandribsandpressedupagainstmycheeks.Outofthecornerofmyeye,Isawasmall,grimyhandreachupafewinchesfrommyfaceandgrabahandfulofcubes.Iheardaloudcrunchingsoundandlookeddown.ItwasBrian,eatingtheice.
***ThedoctorssaidIwasluckytobealive.Theytookpatchesofskinfrommyupperthighandputthemoverthemostbadlyburnedpartsofmystomach,ribs,andchest.Theysaiditwascalledaskingraft.Whentheywerefinished,theywrappedmyentirerightsideinbandages.
"Look,Imahalf-mummy,"Isaidtooneofthenurses.ShesmiledandputmyrightarminaslingandattachedittotheheadboardsoIcouldntmoveit.
Thenursesanddoctorskeptaskingmequestions:Howdidyougetburned?Haveyourparentseverhurtyou?Whydoyouhaveallthesebruisesandcuts?Myparentsneverhurtme,Isaid.Igotthecutsandbruisesplayingoutsideandtheburnsfromcookinghotdogs.TheyaskedwhatIwasdoingcookinghotdogsbymyselfattheageofthree.Itwaseasy,Isaid.Youjustputthehotdogsinthewaterandboilthem.Itwasntliketherewassome ***Everycoupleofdays,thenurseschangedthebandages.Theywouldputtheusedbandageofftotheside,waddedandcoveredwithsmearsofbloodandyellowstuffandlittlepiecesofburnedskin.Thentheydapplyanotherbandage,abiggauzycloth,totheburns.AtnightIwouldrunmylefthandovertherough,scabbysurfaceoftheskinthatwasntcoveredbythebandage.SometimesIdpeeloffscabs.Thenurseshadtoldmenotto,butIcouldntresistpullingonthemrealslowtoseehowbigascabIcouldgetloose.OnceIhadacoupleofthemfree,Idpretendtheyweretalkingtoeachotherincheepingvoices.
Thehospitalwascleanandshiny.Everythingwaswhite梩hewallsandsheetsandnursesuniforms梠rsilver梩hebedsandtraysandmedicalinstruments.Everyonespokeinpolite,calmvoices.Itwassohushedyoucouldhearthenursesrubber-soledshoessqueakingallthewaydownthehall.Iwasntusedtoquietandorder,andIlikedit.
IalsolikeditthatIhadmyownroom,sinceinthetrailerIsharedonewithmybrotherandmysister.Myhospitalroomevenhaditsveryowntelevisionsetuponthewall.WedidnthaveaTVathome,soIwatcheditalot.RedButtonsandLucilleBallweremyfavorites.
ThenursesanddoctorsalwaysaskedhowIwasfeelingandifIwashungryorneededanything.Thenursesbroughtmedeliciousmealsthreetimesaday,withfruitcocktailorJell-Ofordessert,andchangedthesheetseveniftheystilllookedclean.SometimesIreadtothem,andtheytoldmeIwasverysmartandcouldreadaswellasasix-year-old.
Onedayanursewithwavyyellowhairandblueeyemakeupwaschewingonsomething.Iaskedherwhatitwas,andshetoldmeitwaschewinggum.Ihadneverheardofchewinggum,soshewentoutandgotmeawholepack.Ipulledoutastick,tookoffthewhitepaperandtheshinysilverfoilunderit,andstudiedthepowdery,putty-coloredgum.Iputitinmymouthandwasstunnedbythesharpsweetness."Itsreallygood!"Isaid.
"Chewonit,butdontswallowit,"thenursesaidwithalaugh.Shesmiledrealbigandbroughtinothernursessotheycouldwatchmechewmyfirst-everpieceofgum.Whenshebroughtmelunch,shetoldmeIhadtotakeoutmychewinggum,butshesaidnottoworrybecauseIcouldhaveanewstickaftereating.IfIfinishedthepack,shewouldbuymeanother.Thatwasthethingaboutthehospital.Youneverhadtoworryaboutrunningoutofstufflikefoodoriceorevenchewinggum.Iwouldhavebeenhappystayinginthathospitalforever.
***Whenmyfamilycametovisit,theirarguingandlaughingandsingingandshoutingechoedthroughthequiethalls.Thenursesmadeshushingnoises,andMomandDadandLoriandBrianloweredtheirvoicesforafewminutes,thentheyslowlygrewloudagain.EveryonealwaysturnedandstaredatDad.Icouldntfigureoutwhetheritwasbecausehewassohandsomeorbecausehecalledpeople."pardner"and."goomba"andthrewhisheadbackwhenhelaughed.
OnedayDadleanedovermybedandaskedifthenursesanddoctorsweretreatingmeokay.Iftheywerenot,hesaid,hewouldkicksomeasses.ItoldDadhowniceandfriendlyeveryonewas."Well,ofcoursetheyare,"hesaid."TheyknowyoureRexWallssdaughter."WhenMomwantedtoknowwhatitwasthedoctorsandnursesweredoingthatwassonice,Itoldheraboutthechewinggum.
"Ugh,"shesaid.Shedisapprovedofchewinggum,shewenton.Itwasadisgustinglow-classhabit,andthenurseshouldhaveconsultedherbeforeencouragingmeinsuchvulgarbehavior.Shesaidshewasgoingtogivethatwomanapieceofhermind,bygolly."Afterall,"Momsaid."Iamyourmother,andIshouldhaveasayinhowyoureraised."***"Doyouguysmissme?"Iaskedmyoldersister,Lori,duringonevisit.
"Notreally,"shesaid."Toomuchhasbeenhappening.""Likewhat?""Justthenormalstuff.""Lorimaynotmissyou,honeybunch,butIsuredo,"Dadsaid."Youshouldntbeinthisantisepticjoint."HesatdownonmybedandstartedtellingmethestoryaboutthetimeLorigotstungbyapoisonousscorpion.Idhearditadozentimes,butIstilllikedthewayDadtoldit.MomandDadwereoutexploringinthedesertwhenLori,whowasfour,turnedoverarockandthescorpionhidingunderitstungherleg.Shehadgoneintoconvulsio
rstuffedleatherarmchairIlikedtosinkintoattheendoftheday.Idtriedtomakeahomeformyselfhere,triedtoturntheapartmentintothesortofplacewherethepersonIwantedtobewouldlive.ButIcouldneverenjoytheroomwithoutworryingaboutMomandDadhuddledonasidewalkgratesomewhere.Ifrettedaboutthem,butIwasembarrassedbythem,too,andashamedofmyselfforwearingpearlsandlivingonParkAvenuewhilemyparentswerebusykeepingwarmandfindingsomethingtoeat.
WhatcouldIdo?Idtriedtohelpthemcountlesstimes,butDadwouldinsisttheydidntneedanything,andMomwouldaskforsomethingsilly,likeaperfumeatomizeroramembershipinahealthclub.Theysaidthattheywerelivingthewaytheywantedto.
AfterduckingdowninthetaxisoMomwouldntseeme,Ihatedmyself梙atedmyantiques,myclothes,andmyapartment.Ihadtodosomething,soIcalledafriendofMomsandleftamessage.Itwasoursystemofstayingintouch.ItalwaystookMomafewdaystogetbacktome,butwhenIheardfromher,shesounded,asalways,cheerfulandcasual,asthoughwedhadlunchthedaybefore.ItoldherIwantedtoseeherandsuggestedshedropbytheapartment,butshewantedtogotoarestaurant.Shelovedeatingout,soweagreedtomeetforlunchatherfavoriteChineserestaurant.
Momwassittingatabooth,studyingthemenu,whenIarrived.Shedmadeanefforttofixherselfup.Sheworeabulkygraysweaterwithonlyafewlightstains,andblackleathermensshoes.Shedwashedherface,butherneckandtempleswerestilldarkwithgrime.
Shewavedenthusiasticallywhenshesawme."Itsmybabygirl!"shecalledout.Ikissedhercheek.Momhaddumpedalltheplasticpacketsofsoysauceandducksauceandhot-and-spicymustardfromthetableintoherpurse.Nowsheemptiedawoodenbowlofdriednoodlesintoitaswell."Alittlesnackforlateron,"sheexplained.
Weordered.MomchosetheSeafoodDelight."YouknowhowIlovemyseafood,"shesaid.
ShestartedtalkingaboutPicasso.Shedseenaretrospectiveofhisworkanddecidedhewashugelyoverrated.Allthecubiststuffwasgimmicky,asfarasshewasconcerned.HehadntreallydoneanythingworthwhileafterhisRosePeriod.
"Imworriedaboutyou,"Isaid."TellmewhatIcandotohelp."Hersmilefaded."WhatmakesyouthinkIneedyourhelp?""Imnotrich,"Isaid."ButIhavesomemoney.Tellmewhatitisyouneed."Shethoughtforamoment."Icoulduseanelectrolysistreatment.""Beserious.""Iamserious.Ifawomanlooksgood,shefeelsgood.""Comeon,Mom."Ifeltmyshoulderstighteningup,thewaytheyinvariablydidduringtheseconversations."Imtalkingaboutsomethingthatcouldhelpyouchangeyourlife,makeitbetter.""Youwanttohelpmechangemylife?"Momasked."Imfine.Youretheonewhoneedshelp.Yourvaluesareallconfused.""Mom,IsawyoupickingthroughtrashintheEastVillageafewdaysago.""Well,peopleinthiscountryaretoowasteful.Itsmywayofrecycling."ShetookabiteofherSeafoodDelight."Whydidntyousayhello?""Iwastooashamed,Mom.Ihid."Mompointedherchopsticksatme."Yousee?"shesaid."Rightthere.ThatsexactlywhatImsaying.Yourewaytooeasilyembarrassed.YourfatherandIarewhoweare.Acceptit.""AndwhatamIsupposedtotellpeopleaboutmyparents?""Justtellthetruth,"Momsaid."Thatssimpleenough."
Chapter2
Itsmyearliestmemory.Iwasthreeyearsold,andwewerelivinginatrailerparkinasouthernArizonatownwhosenameIneverknew.Iwasstandingonachairinfrontofthestove,wearingapinkdressmygrandmotherhadboughtforme.Pinkwasmyfavoritecolor.Thedresssskirtstuckoutlikeatutu,andIlikedtospinaroundinfrontofthemirror,thinkingIlookedlikeaballerina.Butatthatmoment,Iwaswearingthedresstocookhotdogs,watchingthemswellandbobintheboilingwaterasthelate-morningsunlightfilteredinthroughthetrailerssmallkitchenettewindow.
IcouldhearMominthenextroomsingingwhilesheworkedononeofherpaintings.Juju,ourblackmutt,waswatchingme.Istabbedoneofthehotdogswithaforkandbentoverandofferedittohim.Thewienerwashot,soJujulickedatittentatively,butwhenIstoodupandstartedstirringthehotdogsagain,Ifeltablazeofheatonmyrightside.Iturnedtoseewhereitwas Iscreamed.Ismelledtheburningandheardahorriblecracklingasthefiresingedmyhairandeyelashes.Jujuwasbarking.Iscreamedagain.
Momranintotheroom.
"Mommy,helpme!"Ishrieked.Iwasstillstandingonthechair,swattingatthefirewiththeforkIhadbeenusingtostirthehotdogs.
Momranoutoftheroomandcamebackwithoneofthearmy-surplusblanketsIhatedbecausethewoolwassoscratchy.Shethrewtheblanketaroundmetosmothertheflames.Dadhadgoneoffinthecar,soMomgrabbedmeandmyyoungerbrother,Brian,andhurriedovertothetrailernexttoours.Thewomanwholivedtherewashangingherlaundryontheclothesline.Shehadclothespinsinhermouth.Mom,inanunnaturallycalmvoice,explainedwhathadhappenedandaskedifwecouldpleasehavearidetothehospital.Thewomandroppedherclothespinsandlaundryrightthereinthedirtand,withoutsayinganything,ranforhercar.
***Whenwegottothehospital,nursesputmeonastretcher.Theytalkedinloud,worriedwhisperswhiletheycutoffwhatwasleftofmyfancypinkdresswithapairofshinyscissors.Thentheypickedmeup,laidmeflatonabigmetalbedpiledwithicecubes,andspreadsomeoftheiceovermybody.Adoctorwithsilverhairandblack-rimmedglassesledmymotheroutoftheroom.Astheyleft,Iheardhimtellingherthatitwasveryserious.Thenursesremainedbehind,hoveringoverme.IcouldtellIwascausingabigfuss,andIstayedquiet.OneofthemsqueezedmyhandandtoldmeIwasgoingtobeokay.
"Iknow,"Isaid,"butifImnot,thatsokay,too."Thenursesqueezedmyhandagainandbitherlowerlip.
Theroomwassmallandwhite,withbrightlightsandmetalcabinets.Istaredforawhileattherowsoftinydotsintheceilingpanels.Icecubescoveredmystomachandribsandpressedupagainstmycheeks.Outofthecornerofmyeye,Isawasmall,grimyhandreachupafewinchesfrommyfaceandgrabahandfulofcubes.Iheardaloudcrunchingsoundandlookeddown.ItwasBrian,eatingtheice.
***ThedoctorssaidIwasluckytobealive.Theytookpatchesofskinfrommyupperthighandputthemoverthemostbadlyburnedpartsofmystomach,ribs,andchest.Theysaiditwascalledaskingraft.Whentheywerefinished,theywrappedmyentirerightsideinbandages.
"Look,Imahalf-mummy,"Isaidtooneofthenurses.ShesmiledandputmyrightarminaslingandattachedittotheheadboardsoIcouldntmoveit.
Thenursesanddoctorskeptaskingmequestions:Howdidyougetburned?Haveyourparentseverhurtyou?Whydoyouhaveallthesebruisesandcuts?Myparentsneverhurtme,Isaid.Igotthecutsandbruisesplayingoutsideandtheburnsfromcookinghotdogs.TheyaskedwhatIwasdoingcookinghotdogsbymyselfattheageofthree.Itwaseasy,Isaid.Youjustputthehotdogsinthewaterandboilthem.Itwasntliketherewassome ***Everycoupleofdays,thenurseschangedthebandages.Theywouldputtheusedbandageofftotheside,waddedandcoveredwithsmearsofbloodandyellowstuffandlittlepiecesofburnedskin.Thentheydapplyanotherbandage,abiggauzycloth,totheburns.AtnightIwouldrunmylefthandovertherough,scabbysurfaceoftheskinthatwasntcoveredbythebandage.SometimesIdpeeloffscabs.Thenurseshadtoldmenotto,butIcouldntresistpullingonthemrealslowtoseehowbigascabIcouldgetloose.OnceIhadacoupleofthemfree,Idpretendtheyweretalkingtoeachotherincheepingvoices.
Thehospitalwascleanandshiny.Everythingwaswhite梩hewallsandsheetsandnursesuniforms梠rsilver梩hebedsandtraysandmedicalinstruments.Everyonespokeinpolite,calmvoices.Itwassohushedyoucouldhearthenursesrubber-soledshoessqueakingallthewaydownthehall.Iwasntusedtoquietandorder,andIlikedit.
IalsolikeditthatIhadmyownroom,sinceinthetrailerIsharedonewithmybrotherandmysister.Myhospitalroomevenhaditsveryowntelevisionsetuponthewall.WedidnthaveaTVathome,soIwatcheditalot.RedButtonsandLucilleBallweremyfavorites.
ThenursesanddoctorsalwaysaskedhowIwasfeelingandifIwashungryorneededanything.Thenursesbroughtmedeliciousmealsthreetimesaday,withfruitcocktailorJell-Ofordessert,andchangedthesheetseveniftheystilllookedclean.SometimesIreadtothem,andtheytoldmeIwasverysmartandcouldreadaswellasasix-year-old.
Onedayanursewithwavyyellowhairandblueeyemakeupwaschewingonsomething.Iaskedherwhatitwas,andshetoldmeitwaschewinggum.Ihadneverheardofchewinggum,soshewentoutandgotmeawholepack.Ipulledoutastick,tookoffthewhitepaperandtheshinysilverfoilunderit,andstudiedthepowdery,putty-coloredgum.Iputitinmymouthandwasstunnedbythesharpsweetness."Itsreallygood!"Isaid.
"Chewonit,butdontswallowit,"thenursesaidwithalaugh.Shesmiledrealbigandbroughtinothernursessotheycouldwatchmechewmyfirst-everpieceofgum.Whenshebroughtmelunch,shetoldmeIhadtotakeoutmychewinggum,butshesaidnottoworrybecauseIcouldhaveanewstickaftereating.IfIfinishedthepack,shewouldbuymeanother.Thatwasthethingaboutthehospital.Youneverhadtoworryaboutrunningoutofstufflikefoodoriceorevenchewinggum.Iwouldhavebeenhappystayinginthathospitalforever.
***Whenmyfamilycametovisit,theirarguingandlaughingandsingingandshoutingechoedthroughthequiethalls.Thenursesmadeshushingnoises,andMomandDadandLoriandBrianloweredtheirvoicesforafewminutes,thentheyslowlygrewloudagain.EveryonealwaysturnedandstaredatDad.Icouldntfigureoutwhetheritwasbecausehewassohandsomeorbecausehecalledpeople."pardner"and."goomba"andthrewhisheadbackwhenhelaughed.
OnedayDadleanedovermybedandaskedifthenursesanddoctorsweretreatingmeokay.Iftheywerenot,hesaid,hewouldkicksomeasses.ItoldDadhowniceandfriendlyeveryonewas."Well,ofcoursetheyare,"hesaid."TheyknowyoureRexWallssdaughter."WhenMomwantedtoknowwhatitwasthedoctorsandnursesweredoingthatwassonice,Itoldheraboutthechewinggum.
"Ugh,"shesaid.Shedisapprovedofchewinggum,shewenton.Itwasadisgustinglow-classhabit,andthenurseshouldhaveconsultedherbeforeencouragingmeinsuchvulgarbehavior.Shesaidshewasgoingtogivethatwomanapieceofhermind,bygolly."Afterall,"Momsaid."Iamyourmother,andIshouldhaveasayinhowyoureraised."***"Doyouguysmissme?"Iaskedmyoldersister,Lori,duringonevisit.
"Notreally,"shesaid."Toomuchhasbeenhappening.""Likewhat?""Justthenormalstuff.""Lorimaynotmissyou,honeybunch,butIsuredo,"Dadsaid."Youshouldntbeinthisantisepticjoint."HesatdownonmybedandstartedtellingmethestoryaboutthetimeLorigotstungbyapoisonousscorpion.Idhearditadozentimes,butIstilllikedthewayDadtoldit.MomandDadwereoutexploringinthedesertwhenLori,whowasfour,turnedoverarockandthescorpionhidingunderitstungherleg.Shehadgoneintoconvulsio
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